The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
