yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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