I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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