So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
