hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
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