the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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