You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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