two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
