i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
