She said her name was "party"
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Randomize
