bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm getting married
To pizza
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
