If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
false alarm, still single
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