I molested 6 butterflies tonight
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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