it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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