Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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