Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
