he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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