..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
