I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
