woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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