If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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