If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
ttyl tear gas
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
