quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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