I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
