Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize