I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
