it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
