i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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