So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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