look no pants
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
