It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
organizing the empties. That sober.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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