My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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