The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
