yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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