I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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