I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Can't talk, ducks in the car
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
