Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
