Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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