Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize