Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize