Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
