He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
