Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
