wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
