You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize