Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I am midnight drunk by noon
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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