I'm drive I can fine osifer
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
