john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
