i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
