playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Randomize
