goodnight i made you a song goodbye
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
