I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
These tits shall not be calmed
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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