More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
