You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
