i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
