We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
