I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
