I feel like abortions should bother me more
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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