Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
