we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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