There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
