I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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