my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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