So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize