I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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