i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
