I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
so let's talk penis.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Randomize
