I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
We have started to decorate penises.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
