We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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