Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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