I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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