i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize